09 February 2005

Yeah, I might have said some things about Eastern Europeans in my last column that were maybe a bit too harsh. It could well be that I implied a trifle too strongly that they were zombies, emphasizing their relationship in a way that can only be described as unfair. So I take these implications back. There are, in fact, many differences between zombies and Eastern Europeans. For one, Eastern Europeans can move swiftly and run considerably faster. Another relevant difference is that they have full control over their opposable thumbs, enabling them with cunning rigor not usually found in their zombie brethren to grip weapons of various sorts.

Now that that awkward misunderstanding is dealt with, let's discuss yet another painful stab to the back delivered to all Gamecube owners. This time it comes, surprisingly, from the highly sympathetical and almost indie gamedeveloper The Behemoth. They have freshly made the old-school shootemup Alien Hominid. In the United States the game was released on the Playstation 2 and the Gamecube, whetting our appetites in the light of this unique game also arriving to cubes here in Europe. Then however, they decided to change their minds at the eleventh hour and release the game here on the Xbox instead of the Nintendo console. Ouch, The Behemoth, ouch.

To round this rant up and make it an even three; I'm still not happy that the upcoming excellent game Psychonauts isn't going to appear on my console either, in favour of the other two. I would really like to play Double Fine's first exploit, especially since the game is spearheaded by the master himself; Tim Schafer. Don't let his quirky voice or plentiful hijinxes fool you; this guy writes some serious games. They're kind of the literature of gaming, and bristling with creativity. I can't say for sure yet about Psychonauts, but I know one thing: whoever made Grim Fandango gets the benefit of the doubt in my book. It's just, again, such a shame it's appearing on every single freaking gamingplatform except the Gamecube. It just seems so random and arbitrary. Am I a second-rate gamer? Do I not deserve good games just because I picked a purple console?

I want to go blast some Eastern Europeans to Hell now.